#1 Naughty Roddy

Magnus was quite clearly livid, and by now everyone had found something convenient and sturdy to hide behind. Everyone, that is, except the object of his ire, who had never, it has been noted, been accused of having the sense Primus gave gravel.

"Rodimus, what is the matter with you lately? You've skipped three city planning meetings in a row, you seem to be determined to torque off every single elected official in the galaxy, and now I find you sitting around playing cards for Primussake! There's work to be done!"

Rodimus leaned back in his chair, optics dimming in irritation. "Give me a break, Magnus. It's tough running an army, I need a break every now and then."

"I'm the one running the army these days!" Magnus burst out.

Rodimus gave him a tolerant smile. "Yeah, and look at how spazzed out you are. Maybe you could use a good - "

The Prime got no further, for in a rage Magnus grabbed his collar and lifted him clear out of his chair. For a moment Rodimus thought that his second was about to hit him. A punch he could handle - when Magnus kissed him, hard and forceful and violent, Rodimus was so surprised that his knees gave way and he simply hung helplessly in Magnus's grasp.

Only when Rodimus's lips were thoroughly bruised did Magnus let go. Rodimus took a toddling step back and tried to sit down again, but he missed his chair completely and wound up collapsing to the floor, still staring at Magnus in awe.

"My office. Five minutes," Magnus said coldly, and spun on his heel.

"Y-yes, sir."

#2 Happy Roddy

"Do it again, lad."

Hot Rod groaned and shoved himself to his feet. "You're a sadist, Kup. A complete and utter sadist."

"And you've been slacking off," Kup retorted, "so don't come cryin' to me when your combat skills aren't up to spec. Guard!" He rushed his young charge. Hot Rod yelped and backpedaled, futilely trying to fend off Kup's close-fisted strikes. Kup was holding back out of deference for Hot Rod's inexperience, but soon the young mech was teetering at the edge of the combat platform.

"Strike back!" Kup ordered, throwing a right cross at his student's jaw.

"Give me a chance and I will-!" Kup's followup scored right under the chin, and Hot Rod lost his footing at last and fell off the platform, landing with a clatter. "Ow!"

Kup crossed his arms, amused. "Want to try again?"

Grumbling, Hot Rod clambered back onto the platform. "I can take anything you can dish out, old-timer." He went to the center and set himself. "I'm ready."

"That's my lad." Kup rushed, and for a moment it looked as if it would be another washout. Don't just let me hit you-

Hot Rod didn't. As Kup reached striking distance he dropped gracefully and performed a skillful leg-sweep that sent Kup tumbling end-over-end.

Sprawled half upside-down, Kup shut his optics off and listened contentedly to Hot Rod's whoops of joy.

#5 On-Vacation Roddy

Rodimus stood bemusedly in the yard outside the dojo, holding an Autobot-sized mockup of a bamboo practice sword in both hands. “I assume I’m supposed to be swinging this thing?” he said in informal Japanese.

The young man who was his interim instructor in the ancient and venerable art of kendo grinned . "It's not that simple, Rodimus-san. Anyone can swing a sword. It takes practice to learn to control it." He raised his own sword and brought down in a swift, practiced movement. "Now you try."

"You're the sempai," Rodimus answered cheerfully, and was rewarded by a smile and a flush of pink in the young man's face - perhaps he found it strange to be addressed by a title normally given to older and wiser students by a three-million-year-old robot who had been fighting for longer than his species had existed. "Here goes," he said, and stepped forward, bringing his practice sword down in an overhand swing. "Hyah!"

His instructor clapped his hands gleefully. "That's good, Rodimus-san! Very controlled." His grin turned slightly malicious. "But you have a wimpy kiai. Big guy like you, I know you can be louder than that." Rodimus blinked. "Try again, and shout louder, with all your strength!"

Bemused, Rodimus took another swing. "Hiyah!"

"Louder!"

"Hyaah!"

"Louder!"

Rodimus poured every ounce of strength he dared into his voice. "Hi-YAAH!"

The dojo shook on its foundations. Inside, the sensei dropped his teacup. Far away, a flock of birds were startled into flight.

The sempai laughed as Rodimus rubbed his helm in embarrassment. "Good, Rodimus-san! Good!"

#9 Book-Reading Roddy

"Listen to this, Dreadmoon."

Dreadmoon shut his optics off. "No."

Rodimus, typically, ignored him. "Listen, this is from a creation hymn of the Hindu peoples. 'Whence this creation has arisen - perhaps it formed itself, or perhaps it did not - the one who looks down on it, in the highest heaven, only he knows - or perhaps he does not know.' Isn't that great?"

"Fascinating," Dreadmoon groused.

"I mean, this was composed practically before these people had a written language, and it's such a sophisticated idea." Rodimus pored over his book again, murmuring the words to himself. "Agnosticism is almost unheard of in our culture."

Dreadmoon snorted. "That's because you're living proof of the presence of a divinity."

Rodimus idly turned the page. "Thought you didn't think of the Matrix as a religious relic."

Dreadmoon stood; his wings swept out and around to encompass them both. "I wasn't referring to the Matrix, Rodimus Prime."

#10 Dancing Roddy

"Nah, Roddy, that's not it. You're still not relaxin' enough."

Rodimus halted midstep, nearly stumbling as in the background Jennifer Lopez demanded for the fifth time that the deejay play her favorite song. "How can I relax, Blaster? I feel like a goof up here all by myself."

Blaster exchanged a sly glance with Jazz. "Oh, is that what the problem is?"

"Easy t' fix," Jazz grinned.

"Uh." Rodimus backpedaled. "That's not quite what I meant-"

It was already too late by then. Nothing could dissuade Blaster and Jazz when they got one of their Evil Ideas into their craniums. Blaster vaulted himself onto their makeshift stage and reached back to offer Jazz a hand. "Relax, Roddy," the latter smirked, arms circling around the hapless Prime. "We'll have you dancin' like a pro in no time."

"Can't I just be an amateur dancer?" Rodimus stiffened as Jazz wrapped his arms around him from behind. Blaster pressed his back against the Prime's chest.

"Put your arms around my waist," the commander of Autobase Earth said in a gentle, sultry murmur. Rodimus obeyed, and allowed Jazz to sway all three of them, synchronizing their rhythms to that of the music.

"Better?" Jazz purred in his audial.

Rodimus shivered. "Yeah." 'Cause you know that it turns me on...

#11 Jealous Roddy

They called it "being forced to watch," but the truth is Rodimus wouldn't have looked away even if he thought he could get away with it. His optics followed hungrily as Starscream's fingertips trailed down Dreadmoon's wing, whimpered when Dreadmoon licked Starscream's neck, bit his lip to keep from begging aloud when the Air Commander shoved the Monitor onto his back and had his wicked, wicked way with him.

Rising up, Starscream gave Rodimus a triumphant grin. "Feel free to admit defeat at any time, Rodimus."

"Slag you, Starscream," Rodimus panted. "You know I can take on the both of you."

Dreadmoon snickered tiredly. "Stop trying to manipulate us into unchaining you."

Starscream blinked, then quickly recovered. "That's right!" he crowed. "You're not going anywhere until we're done with you, Prime!"

That was just fine with Rodimus, as long as 'done with you' meant he was going to get shagged by one or both in the near future. "Slag you, Starscream."

#12 Turned-on Roddy

"Well, what do you think?"

Rodimus found himself staring and struggled to stop. "Wow. I... wow."

Springer laughed at his discomfiture. "You've been holed up in your office too long, Rod. You need to get out more. How long's it been since you've seen lines like that?"

"Way too long," Rodimus admitted with a rueful grin, "apparently. I didn't know they made them like that anymore."

"Try and stop 'em!" Springer laughed. He poked at the periodical in front of them. "Take this little number, for example. Isn't she something? Look at those curves!"

"I'm looking, I'm looking," Rodimus murmured appreciatively. "You're right, Springer. Toshiba does make the best laptops in the universe."

#13 Caring Roddy

"Ho' Wod!"

Hot Rod laughed and scooped up the little three-year-old in both hands, cradling him carefully. "Hey, Danny. Miss me?" The newling human laughed uproariously and snuggled his thumb. "I'll take that as a yes." Hot Rod grinned and peeked down at Danny's parents, who were watching the pair with some amusement. "Don't worry, Ambassador, Mrs. Witwicky. I'll take good care of him."

"Call me Spike," Daniel's father corrected automatically. "And I know you will. Danny loves you already."

"Aww." Hot Rod ducked his head. "You're pretty cute yourself, kid." He shot a mischevious grin at Spike. "And hey, it gets me out of cleaning duty if I'm babysitting."

Spike laughed. "All right, now you remind me of myself when I was younger."

"And isn't that worrying," Carly muttered with a smile. Spike splorfled and chased her back to the road as Hot Rod sat back down, cradling little Danny to his chest.

"Now," he mused. "What sort of trouble can we get in today...?"

#14 On-His-Knees Roddy (with Dominant Bluestreak)

"Say my name."

"Bluestreak," Rodimus moaned, letting his head fall back. "Primus. I. Please."

Bluestreak rested his palm on Rodimus's forehead and he quieted somewhat, still whimpering and shifting on his knees nervously. "Please, what?" the Datsun asked, clearly enjoying himself.

Rodimus squinted up at him, lips parting as he struggled to express himself in modes more sophisticated than drawn-out whines. "I - I want - oh, Bluestreak - sir - please - "

That hadn't been nearly the level of articulation Rodimus was aiming for; Bluestreak smirked and silenced the Prime with a finger to his lips. "This?" he asked.

Rodimus opened his mouth just enough to let Bluestreak slip his finger inside. The Datsun purred and probed his mouth, stroking his glossa; Rodimus licked and stroked in return. His optics dimmed to a near-mindless indigo.

Oh, yes sir. This.

#15 Obedient Roddy (takes place after #1, Naughty Roddy)

Rodimus Prime stood at attention before Magnus's desk, his gaze hovering somewhere over his second's head. Magnus leaned back in his chair to regard him silently. The Matrix's influence, he reflected, had to be stronger than he'd realized - Hot Rod had always been terminally incapable of standing still no matter how you yelled at him, but the Prime's posture was ramrod-straight and perfect, nary a tremor in his limbs.

So he can display proper discipline. "I assume you know why I called you here, Rodimus," Magnus said quietly.

"Yes sir." Rodimus's voice was as steady as his stance.

"You've been acting in a manner that demeans the position you've been entrusted with."

"Yes sir."

"Blowing off your responsibilities. Sneaking out without telling anyone where you're going. Showing a marked lack of respect for your station."

"Yes sir."

Magnus frowned. "Do you have anything to say in your own defense, Rodimus?"

The Prime's chest rose and fell. "No sir."

"I see." Magnus stood and paced around his desk. "I appreciate that you're under a lot of pressure, Rodimus, and you haven't yet been properly trained to handle these pressures, but I expect - the Autobots expect - a certain level of performance from you. I know you don't want to deliberately disappoint them."

"No sir, I don't."

"And yet you keep on doing these things, and it's driving me insane, Rodimus!" Magnus shouted. The Prime did not flinch. "What's going through your head?"

He'd meant, of course, when you do these things, but Rodimus took it to mean right now. "Optimus Prime passed the Matrix to you," the young Bearer murmured, still staring straight ahead at nothing, "not to me. So if you want it back, take it."

Magnus halted, his back to Rodimus. "I don't want the Matrix. It no longer belongs to me." He thought he heard a disappointed sigh escape his Prime. "You're so stupid sometimes, Rodimus."

Rodimus sighed again, worlds-weary. "Yes sir." His optics dimmed, then flashed brokenly-bright as Magnus turned back, gripped his helm with both hands and wrenched him off-balance.

It's amazing, Magnus reflected as he bent Rodimus violently back over his desk, tearing at those tender lips with his mandenta, how the same two words can suddenly mean so much.

#16 Dominant Roddy

Galvatron lay back with an indolent sigh. "So. I am to do this your way, then, am I?"

"That was the wager." Rodimus's voice was strangely hoarse as he approached the berth. "If you don't think you can do this..."

Galvatron scowled. "Don't tell me what I can't do, Prime!" Rodimus halted - not a flinch, but a deliberate pause, head cocked as if in question. Galvatron spent a few precious moments glaring at the Chosen before remembering himself. "Only for you, Rodimus," he said, somewhere between a growl and a purr, and invited his lover close the distance with a gesture. "The might of Galvatron is at your command. For now!" he couldn't resist adding.

Rodimus smiled. "It's not your might I want." He sat at the edge of the berth, leaning over the warlord to kiss him. Galvatron had to fight not to yank the Prime down into a deeper kiss; he rather suspected the Prime was teasing him. You'll pay for this later, Chosen.

#17 Naive Roddy

Daniel goggled. "You're three million years old and you don't know where babies come from?"

"Not human babies," Rodimus protested. "I haven't been on Earth that long. Come on, Danny, you've gotta help me. This is driving me crazy."

"Why don't you ask my dad?" Daniel demanded skeptically.

"I did. He said he'd tell me when I was older." Rodimus was dangerously close to pouting. "Like I'm not already millenia older than him." Daniel snickered and Rodimus turned pleading optics on him. "Come on, please? Tell me."

"Okay, okay." Daniel affected his best Kup impression as he plopped on a nearby rock. "When a mommy human and a daddy human love each other very much..." He trailed off.

"Yeah?" Rodimus leaned forward, optics bright.

Daniel frowned, realizing suddenly that that was as far as his father had gotten the last time he'd tried to deliver The Talk. Admittedly, it was an improvement over the last three times Spike had tried. "Well, um," he continued bravely, "they date a lot, right? And the daddy gives the mommy a bouquet of roses. And in the biggest and prettiest rose there's a diamond. And the mommy goes out and buries the diamond under a leaf. And the diamond turns into a baby!" The boy snuck a look at Rodimus and surpressed a grin - it was clear that the leader of the Autobots was swallowing every single word.

#18 Drinking-Energon Roddy

"First round's on me," Ultra Magnus announced, plunking a tray of energon cubes on the table. "Here's to a successful mission."

"All right!" Springer grabbed a cube and drained half of it in one go. "As they say on Earth - cheers!"

"Cheers," Magnus echoed, and grabbed a cube of his own. "Hey," he said, tapping Rodimus on the shoulder. "You don't look very cheery. What's wrong?"

Rodimus shook himself and managed a smile. "Sorry, Magnus. Just... was this really a successful mission?"

"Listen to him!" Springer scoffed. "Rodimus, just because the results of one battle doesn't set the entire universe to rights again doesn't make you a failure. We protected the city, we destroyed that... whatever-it-was Galvatron was using. What more do you want?"

"Guess you're right," Rodimus said with a sudden grin. He reached for a cube. "What's that word again?"

"Cheers!"

#20 Daring Roddy

"Blitz!"

Blitzwing craned his head to see a little red-gold shape hanging off the spire of the communications tower. "How did you get up there, Rodimus?" he demanded. "Did you sprout wings?"

Rodimus's laugh floated down to him. "Nah, I climbed, the old-fashioned way."

"Why?"

"Why not?" Rodimus swung from the spire, clung and teetered dangerously. "Hey, Blitzwing - if I jump, will you catch me?"

Blitzwing grinned. "Try it and see."

Rodimus's optics brightened, seemed to join the stars in Cybertron's heaven. His hands fell away from the spire. He toppled.

Roaring his name, Blitzwing launched himself into the sky, arms outstretched. The Autobot fell silently, almost drifting like a mote of sunlight; it was a deception, Blitzwing nearly got his arms ripped out of their sockets from the Prime's weight as he arrested his downward spiral. "You idiot," he began.

Rodimus turned in his arms, smiling dreamily. "Knew you'd catch me." He nuzzled the triple-changer's chest and whatever Blitzwing had been about to say died blissfully in his throat.

#21 Exploring Roddy

"Are you sure you know where you're going?"

Rodimus didn't look back at Arcee - it was much easier to project confidence into his voice than into his face. "Of course I know where I'm going." It wasn't a lie - specifically, he was going north-by-northwest. Whether there was anything in that direction but more forest, the Prime had no idea.

Arcee snorted. "Whatever you say." Her tone of voice made it clear that she did not, in fact, have the utmost of faith in her illustrious leader, which Rodimus considered perfectly understandable. "I hear water."

Rodimus paused and cocked his head, letting Arcee catch up. "Yeah, so do I." He grinned suddenly. "Where there's water, there's bound to be civilization, right? Come on!" He took off at an easy jog, and Arcee on her shorter legs was hard-pressed to keep up.

"How can you be so cheerful?" she demanded.

"Why not?" Rodimus shouted back. "Relax! Think of it as an adventure!"

"Roddy, you use that word one more time and I swear - " Arcee was forced to skid to a halt to avoid crashing into the Prime, who'd stopped. "Rodimus - what - "

"Look," he answered quietly.

Arcee looked. Before them was a vast ravine, scattered with green-and-yellow plant life. Below a silver thread of water meandered through sandstone lit and glittering in the afternoon sunlight. "Oh, Rodimus," she breathed. "It's beautiful!"

Rodimus didn't take his optics from the vista, but he did smile. "See? I told you this was an adventure."

#23 Bath-Time Roddy

There were disadvantages to having a spoiler. No matter how he contorted himself, Rodimus could not reach around far enough to scrub his own back. Not that he didn't try, of course. Hope springs eternal.

"Need some help, Prime?"

Rodimus, caught with his arm wrapped almost all the way around his torso, nevertheless tried to play it off. "Nah, I'm good. I'm almost done, anyway."

"You had better be!" Galvatron declared with a glower. "You've been hogging the bath all day!"

"That's a bit of an exaggeration." Okay, so maybe Rodimus had been in here a little longer than he'd meant to, but he couldn't help it - this was the first time he'd ever been in an actual bath, as opposed to the washracks Autobots always used. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised that Galvatron had such a thing. "Where did you get this thing, anyway?"

Galvatron snorted. "Where do you think? I had it built for me! It's my right as the emperor of the Decepticons."

"Heh." Rodimus made another, halfhearted attempt to scrub his back. "If you say so."

"Of course I say so!" Galvatron scowled. "Oh, you're pathetic, Autobot. Turn around." Rodimus blinked at him, uncomprehending until the warlord leaped into the bath with a mighty splash. "Turn around, I said!" Galvatron shouted, but he didn't give Rodimus a chance to comply before he violently spun the Prime around, bent him over the edge of the tub, and got to work.

#25 Exhausted Roddy

Rodimus was miserable. During the course of a three-hour battle the Autobots had sustained a casualty rate of nearly thirty percent, completely failed to accomplish their objective, and lost a substantial chunk of an asteroid field (which Magnus assured him was in a strategic location) to the Decepticons. And now First Aid would not stop flapping at him.

"I'm fine, First Aid," Rodimus groused for the fifteenth time. "I wasn't even hit that hard." He waved a hand in the face of the medic's protests. "I have to see to the other Autobots," he said determinedly. "I have to - oh." The floor lurched at him at a crazy angle, and if that seemed unlikely at least it was more firmly in the realm of possibility than the idea that Rodimus himself was inexplicably falling. The Prime did not fall, not when those under his command were counting on him, not even if the corner of that berth was getting ready to club him right in the optic -

"Easy, Rodimus." Solid arms arrested his fall; the world settled again. "You've been working too hard," Ultra Magnus told him disapprovingly. "You need to rest just as much as the rest of us, Rodimus."

"First you give me the Matrix," Rodimus lamented to no one in particular as Magnus half-dragged him to an empty repair berth, "then you tell me to rest. I wish the universe would make up its mind."

#26 Well-Shagged Roddy

"Do you really have to go?"

Blitzwing half-turned to glance over his shoulder. Rodimus lay how he'd been left, sprawled on the berth, covered in condensation and scorch marks. Their lovemaking had been rougher than usual, even by Blitzwing's standards; he couldn't help but wonder if the Prime was sated.

"Yes," he said bluntly, and turned away, continued putting his hatches in order.

Behind him, he could hear Rodimus moving - slowly, painfully. His audials mapped out every motion as Rodimus shook his spoiler, ran a hand over his chest as if to make sure the latches were still intact, pushed himself to his feet. "You said it yourself, your business practically runs itself these days," Rodimus murmured, one hand finding its way to Blitzwing's shoulder. "You can't afford to let it go, just an hour?"

Begging made Blitzwing uncomfortable; he shrugged Rodimus's hand off his shoulder. "I've got a client waiting." The Prime backed off. "I'll be back later, I promise."

Rodimus reclaimed his berth, curling up with a heavy sigh. "I know you will," he muttered, turning his face to the wall.

Anyone else would have said "pathetic Autobot" and let it go; Blitzwing knew better. This pathetic creature on the berth had nothing to do with the Autobot Prime, and everything to do with him. The triple-changer sighed and returned to the berth. "You are a needy little thing."

"Heh." Rodimus smiled softly and curled up against him, half in his lap. Blitzwing wrapped his arms possessively around the Prime and kissed his forehead.

#27 Kick-Ass Roddy

The Sweeps were coming around for another pass, a depressing single gap in their ranks to mark where the Autobots had concentrated their fire. Magnus scurried to hide his mountainous body in the rocks and demanded a status report as acid-violet lightning tore the ground around him. "Rodimus!" he shouted across the makeshift embankment. "We've got to retreat!"

"No." Rodimus said the word in a normal tone; somehow it carried over the clamor of war.

"Dammit, Rodimus!" Magnus broke cover briefly to plant an errant Sweep with a missile before he could ventilate the Prime's body. Rodimus didn't seem to notice. "I know you want to protect this city, but we've already lost!"

"No, we haven't." Rodimus crouched to fiddle with his rifle.

"We've lost all our gunners!"

Now Rodimus deigned to grin at him; in his optics glowed a depth of awareness that frightened his second. "No we haven't." He stood and lifted his rifle to his shoulder, calmly as if he were on the practice range, and sighted down the barrel.

Fire erupted from the rifle with the shout of a warring god; one by one the enemy began to fall. Magnus allowed himself the tiniest spark of hope.

#28 Playing With Kids Roddy

"Hah! Eat hot Katamari!"

"Agh!" Rodimus frantically worked his oversized controls. His ball-o'-stuff obligingly failed to get unstuck from Daniel's, and was quickly joined by two cows and a bit of fence. "You suck, Daniel."

The little human cackled. "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

"I don't hate you. You just suck." Rodimus grinned to himself. For a kid who only ten minutes ago was griping about not needing a babysitter, Daniel certainly seemed to be having the time of his life. "And anyway, I don't have the kind of time it takes to get good at video games."

Daniel snorted. "I just am good at video games, Rodimus." He grinned. "Maybe when you turn me into an Autobot, I could be an XBox 360."

Rodimus laughed. "Sure, Danny. You can fight the Decepticons with your amazing leetness."