Sephiroth could count on one hand the number of times he'd been visibly angry. Most of the time he managed to push it down into a sort of slow-cooking resentment, leaving his outward body language professional at best, at worst bland. The few times his anger had slipped free from his iron control, Things Happened that didn't bear thinking about, and woe betide the people, their families and their ancestral lineage that wandered into the line of fire.
Sephiroth stalked down the hallway of the Shinra Building's 67th floor, and labcoat-clad techs and office drones alike took one look and got the hell out of his way.
And thus Sephiroth made his way to the labs entirely unimpeded, where the white tile walls and concrete floor (easier to hose blood off) made up the natural habitat of one Professor Hojo. Hojo was bent over a clipboard, scribbling arcane things down and intermittently peering through a glass tube that housed his latest toy, a catlike red animal who glared at them with equal malice out of his one remaining eye. "You're a little early for your physical," the bony little man said without looking up, "but if you're that eager, have a seat and I'll be there as soon as-"
"You," Sephiroth interrupted in a low growl, "put a uterus in me."
Hojo paused. Looking over his shoulder with his thin eyebrows raised, looking rather as if Sephiroth, with great conviction, had stated that Mako was green, he drawled out slowly, "Yes... and?"
Sephiroth felt his cheeks burn. He towered over Hojo now, but the scientist never failed to invoke the gangly teenager in him, made to feel so stupid over the most reasonable questions - "You put. A uterus. In me," he repeated, "and you didn't bother to tell me."
Hojo was straightening, scowling somewhere past Sephiroth's right hip. "It was a vestigial uterus, purely for research purposes," he croaked. "Your cells have a remarkable regenerative ability, and I thought I might be able to harness it. Research is still ongoing, of course, and I have had projects with higher priority, but to satisfy curiosity I have been keeping an eye on -
"Hojo!" Sephiroth barked out in his best parade ground voice. It didn't make Hojo snap to attention like most people did, like Sephiroth damn well wanted him to, but it got him to shut up and that would have to be enough. "I will only ask this once. Why did you put a uterus in me?"
Hojo blinked twice, his scowl deepening. "I told you, to see if I could. Why, if you-"
Hojo was through the glass tube and hitting the far wall with a satisfying thump before Sephiroth knew he'd hit him, and the red cat was absconding for parts unknown. Ignoring the feline and the startled shouts of the techs (and one victory whoop, quickly stifled), the General glared at his tormentor, who summoned up just enough strength to give his prototype Soldier an affronted glare before passing out completely.
Sephiroth could never be happy about losing his temper, but in this instance at least what followed him out of the labs was a sort of grim satisfaction.
News traveled worryingly fast at the Shinra Building. By the time Sephiroth had returned to his office, there was a basket of fruit on his desk, and after he was done running it through the normal battery of tests to make sure it was harmless he found a note:
General,
You have our undying gratitude. If you ever need any charts fudged, feel free to ask.
Love,
The Techs of Floor 67 (a.k.a. the Sad & Sorry Abuse Squad)
Sephiroth read it twice before shredding it - it wouldn't do to leave any evidence of such insubordination lying around. Normally he wouldn't have approved, but he was going to be in enough trouble with the President when he found out that a little commisseration with the downtrodden masses wouldn't hurt much.
In his defense, though? Uterus.